Family Alchemy

Philosopher’s stone and elixirs of life
Were desired in past Middle Ages.
Past middle age, a Chapman-blessed wife,
I longed only for wisdom of sages.

Evolving through chemistry, wedding and birth
A family must contrasts enfold,
Embracing new members for all that they’re worth.
Thus base metal transmutes to gold.

The secret of alchemy came in the mail,
Surprising (but ancient and true):
Let go of crusades to discover the Grail—
‘Tis the Grail that has come to find you.

A black velvet box and a heritage coin
(“Happy 60” thrown in for good measure)
Give witness to how we continue to join
In creating immutable treasure.

No need of a potion or magical stone.
Your thousand bright wishes I hold
With deeply felt gratitude down to the bone.
I married a family of gold.

AFTERWORD: When we wed someone, it’s not just one person with whom we join our life. His or her family are part of the merger. As the expression goes, we “marry into.”

In marrying Jack Chapman, I brought my Banasiewicz-Crimando second-generation loose-cannon passions into the Chapman-Fisher Daughters-of-the-American-Revolution sweet-tempered rationality. Two seemingly divergent yet complementary heritages. The decades of mutual discoveries, differences and deepening have revealed all along how fortunate I am in this union.

When I turned 60, Jack’s sisters and brother sent me a pendant fashioned from a 1,000 lire Italian coin, perhaps in recognition of my Sicilian heritage—and I could even take it as a good-humored poke at times when my ethnic spillovers were clumsy or outrageous, though I’m not sure that was intended. In any case, I have always felt accepted. I wish everyone who marries could be so lucky.

I attached the Italian coin to the gold watch chain given to me by my father-in-law after my mother-in-law died. I had already had it made into a handsome necklace, and the pendant completed it. Each time it encircles my neck, I am mindful that the Barrie-Chapman blend is true prosperity. Thank you, Chapmans, for the ultimate embrace of being completely accepted as family.

I feel the eternal hug.