Scuba Gear Coronavirus Fantasy Blues

I looked for a place where coronavirus just couldn’t get to me.
Like, I needed a place where coronavirus’d never get to me.
So I bought scuba gear and I’m headed for Atlantis in the sea.

Well I got me a big honkin’ specialized scuba gear bag.
Yeah, I got me a big honkin’ specialized scuba gear bag.
Cuz on my way to Atlantis, man I don’t wanna look like a hag.

I laid out all my gear ‘fore I loaded it into that duffel.
Heck, there was so much stuff ‘fore I loaded it into the duffel
I cried, O Lord above, I gotta do the packin’ gear shuffle!

That wetsuit, it came with a cardboard tube like a bazooka.
O wow, that tube! How’d it get as big as a bazooka?
I thought, that’s the size that shoulda been my hookah.

Now I looked at all my gear spread out like a scuba puzzle.
How’m I gonna get all those pieces in to solve that puzzle?
But that bag spoke right up, “That’s what I’m here to guzzle.”

Now listen to me, kids, there’s goggles, tanks and fins.
There’s hoses and regulators to make your head spin.
But Atlantis was calling, so dang if I didn’t cram it all in.

The next time you’re thinkin’ that coronavirus blues is a drag,
You listenin’? Spendin’ hundreds on scuba gear is a helluva nicer drag.
Join my party in Atlantis by packin’ up your big scuba gear bag.

(End with guitar riff)